Procrastination And A General Sense Of Wellbeing - Part 5

Tip # 83 “My name is Tess, and I’m an alcoholic”

Alcoholism is a SERIOUS problem, no two ways about it. And it can be criminal, if you drink and drive and hit someone. If you’re drinking everyday and you’re feeling helpless and desperate, and these feelings are leading you to drink more, you need help. Don’t delay. There are humanitarian organizations in your community that will provide referrals. Or go on the Net and begin your research into recovery.


Tip # 84 “Hi, my name is Ted…no sorry…it’s J…J…Jed…and I’m on drugs”

Drugs are bad news. You could destroy not only your future, but also your family’s future. Drug rehabilitation clinics have mushroomed all over the country. That’s why you’re not alone, and that’s the good news.

Stop procrastinating and see a drug counselor in school, or ask for your doctor’s advice about where you can go. It’s best to invest in drug rehabilitation now than to squander your lifetime savings on a never-ending need for drugs. Don’t procrastinate in withdrawing – and this isn’t a contradiction of terms. We just want to say, don’t delay about getting treatment. You’ll suffer from withdrawal symptoms at first, but they’re only temporary.


Tip # 85 And then there was light…

You’ve tried everything – plan A, plan B. This option, that option. You’ve taken detours…short-cuts. Even dabbled in medieval art, of all things. A solution is nowhere to be found. Your life is one shattered mess and you’re feeding on the splinters. Yours is a “life of quiet desperation,” as one famous writer once said.

There’s one person in your entourage that you’ve forgotten: your parish priest. The reverend Jesuit, the Chief Rabbi, and the Holy Iman – whatever religion you were born or converted into – never procrastinate in getting that much needed spiritual guidance.

Your problems may be your wake up call to the fact that you’re spiritually devoid and empty. Spiritual leaders rejoice and give thanks whenever one of their prodigal sons returns to the fold. Don’t wait until you plunge into complete darkness. There’s one flickering candle left. Grab it and find your way out of the dark hole.

Procrastination And A General Sense Of Wellbeing - Part 4

Tip # 80 Avoiding procrastination means you don’t have to change your life radically

People procrastinate because they’re overwhelmed by the enormity of what they’re facing. To stop procrastinating does not mean radically changing your life, or suddenly switching from one profession to another.

As Carter and Sokol explain, “There is usually a reason why we chose the work we did, have the friends we do, and lead the lives we lead. If you are like people, you don’t want a different life; you just want to be able to manage the one you have.”

Do bear one thing in mind. The more you delay, the more dissatisfied you will be with your life.


Tip # 81 Stress: either manage it or stay away from it

Many people have been known to suddenly wake up one day and decide they want out. They walk away from 20-year marriages, break a childhood friendship and disengage from lifelong commitments.

They decided it was better to walk away from a situation that was generating more stress than they could handle - a wise decision on their part, given that a few reports have zeroed in on it as a potential leading cause of cancer.

Give this simplistic equation a thought or two: stress  indecision  more stress  procrastination  inaction  triple stress  illness!!


Tip # 82 If you decide to manage your stress…

You’ve heard the expression, “something’s got to give.” If you wish to deal with your stress more effectively, you’ll have to cut back on some of your activities because you’ll need a reservoir of strength to confront that stress.

But make a decision now about what you can give up, so that you’ll have some energy remaining for other challenges that come your way. For instance, if you do volunteer work three times a week at the home for battered woman, how about diminishing the frequency to once a week.

Your daughter who was being physically abused by her husband finally had the courage to pack her bags and leave him. She’s now come to you for help and you know it will be a lengthy recovery period. Charity begins at home. Don’t create two different sources of stress. Decide which is more important and take action.

Procrastination And A General Sense Of Wellbeing - Part 3

Tip # 78 Did you make it to the list of 10 worst dressed this year?

It’s been ages since anyone complimented you on your wardrobe. You walk along the office corridor and you notice people turn away.

Perhaps you’re imagining it but they seem to be suppressing a giggle every time they see you. Okay, you’ve never been vain about your appearance, but we’re not sure that’s exactly a good thing nowadays, especially if there’s so much press coverage about the oft-repeated concept of “dressing for success.”

Not sure you’re wearing 21st century attire? Not sure your make-up isn’t more appropriate for the circus? Not sure the colors match? Do your shoes look like you haven’t stepped into a shoe store for the last 15 years?

If you procrastinate about seeing an image consultant, you may not even make it to the first step of the corporate ladder. Your brains and experience got you this far. Are you going to let your image set you back a few light years? Don’t hesitate. Image consultants would give anything to turn a project into a success.


Tip # 79 That turbulence inside…

Thank goodness for the 21st century. We have cosmetic surgeons, image consultants, and we also have…psychologists. You sure deserve an “A” for appearance: you’re the envy of your friends, the campus belle, and the office “beauty and brains” who’s loved, hated, loved. Your ideas are imitated by management, your flawless complexion is making everyone curious about the night cream brand you use, and none of your muscles is out of place. What’s even more aggravating is, in spite of your God-given gifts, you’re unpretentious and unassuming.

BUT –

That turbulence inside you is slowly becoming a full blown unstoppable thunderstorm. It’s eroding your confidence, and your wounds remain uncared for. We all agree. Emotional wounds take the longest to heal. You need an expert who’ll come to the rescue.

That list of psychologists has been sitting inside your drawer for the last six months. Staring at it won’t cure you. Dial the first number on the list. Ask to see a psychologist. If you procrastinate some more, you may need more than a psychologist. Psychiatrists have been also known to cure old, festering wounds.

Procrastination And A General Sense Of Wellbeing - Part 2

Tip # 76 You’ve reached a plateau – at the gym

Even your fitness program needs re-hashing. If you stick to the same routine for more than 6 weeks, and you’ve got fitness goals to achieve (stronger hamstrings as an example), then don’t let your shyness stand in your in achieving those goals.

Get a fitness trainer to help you. The essential thing about fitness is variety. You can’t be doing the same exercises indefinitely without varying your routine.

First, you could be less enthused doing those repetitive movements with the same muscle groups, and second, those muscles may get overworked to the point that they’re no longer reacting to your pushing and pulling.

Don’t let a trainer intimidate you. They’re always willing to discuss your goals - that’s what they’re trained and paid to do. If you procrastinate, you may not learn the secrets to turning your biceps into the watermelons you want them to be. They’ll remain the size of plums.


Tip # 77 Cosmetic surgery: not a sin these days

Why should it be? People have a right to change their appearance if it gives them more self-confidence, and less of an inferiority complex.

If your long hooked nose has been bothering you for years and you can re-shape it safely, why not get a nose job done? People do it all the time. And even if half of them won’t admit, they’re suddenly looking wonderful. And they’re happier, more radiant. Don’t procrastinate. Cosmetic surgery is NOTHING to be ashamed of. Get a new nose, be nose-happy and nurse that bruised ego back to health.

Procrastination And A General Sense Of Wellbeing - Part 1

Tip # 74 Let’s get physical…

You’ve complained enough about your weight. Your parents are tired of listening to you, and so are your friends. It’s been a yo-yo, on and off, touch and go affair with the scale.

You’re only 23 but you’re overweight by twice that number. The doctor just said that you’re a likely candidate of diabetes if you don’t do something. See which of these statements apply to you.
“I’d feel better if I lost weight because:
• I would like myself better. I’d be happier about my physical appearance.
• If I learn to like myself, my friends and family would like me better too. I’d be more positive about life, and I’d slowly build up my self-confidence. These qualities attract people.
• I’d be more comfortable in my relationships with the opposite sex. I would stop agonizing about what they’re thinking of me being such a fat slob. I want them to think of me as attractive, and pleasant to be with.
• My doctor would stop nagging me. My blood pressure, my cholesterol, and my blood sugar levels would be lower, and with some effort, I’d probably regain that old energy I had in my teens.
• My friends would respect me more and seek my opinion about their own problems.

The benefits are immeasurable. If you stop procrastinating, you can enjoy these benefits today.


Tip # 75 The gym can be a scary place

If you go to the gym frequently enough, you get used to seeing certain types: the fanatics, the confident and the driven.

Then there are those who can’t look you in the eye – they’re attired in clothes that camouflage their size and their demeanor suggests they’re embarrassed about being in the gym at all. They look miserable, move awkwardly, and are terrified of the machines.

You were there once. Don’t delay about giving them encouragement. A simple, sincere smile would go a long way. Don’t give advice; don’t offer to show them how a particular machine can be adjusted. If you smile at them everyday, chances are by next week, they shall have mustered enough courage to ask you to help them figure out their fitness routine. It works all the time!

Procrastination and Human Relationships - Part 5

Tip # 72 Aging sick parents need just a bit of your time

Your parents have lost their autonomy and are in a home for the aged. Have you been to one of these places lately? Old sick people can’t move around anymore and are confined to their wheelchairs all day long.

You see the look on their faces – the look that says they could use some company, need to be read to, or need someone to just listen to their troubles. Sons and daughters with families of their own and who lead hectic lives come less often, a few have stopped coming. Think what a pity it would be if you procrastinated in visiting.


Tip # 73 Health is wealth and many more

Health conditions need immediate attention. Don’t procrastinate in seeing a doctor to have the following checked: growths, tumors, change in appetite, consistent chest pain, numbness that doesn’t go away, frequent dizziness, irregular bowel movement, loss of appetite, depression, blood in your stool, persistent coughing, unusual changes in the skin, or a general feeling of being unwell.

Procrastination And Human Relationships - Part 4

Tip # 70 Butt out of my kitchen!

One woman was lamenting the fact that her mother-in-law always seems to drop in around the time she’s preparing dinner for her husband.

This woman endured her mother-in-law’s unwelcome visits – not to mention her acerbic words - for six months, but feels she’s come to the end of her rope.
The woman told us, “She says things like, my dear Albert (that’s my husband) would much rather pepper his steak than salt it. One day, I had worked so hard on this trifle, and she said, oh dear, I don’t think he’s too fond of British dessert; he has a weakness though for French pastries. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you.”

If the woman is as smart in the human relationships department as she is in the kitchen, she’ll know how to deal with her mother-in-law. But she better take action now or she’ll end up soaking her in a pot of scalding soup!


Tip # 71 If there’s a will, there’s a way

We’re not referring here to the will to do something. We’re talking about a real Will – as in Last Will and Testament. Your father is dying and is about to sign his last will.

You also know that he is going to leave a larger part of his estate to your older brother being the eldest child. And here’s the painful part.

You know that your older brother has been arrested a few times for gambling debts and credit card fraud. The family kept this secret from your father because of his illness. For the last five years, you’ve been arguing with your brothers and sisters to tell your father about your brother’s predicament, but they did not want him to worry unnecessarily.

If you procrastinate and the Will is signed and then your father passes away, your inaction is tantamount to squandering your father’s hard-earned money. Worse, your brother’s situations will deteriorate further. You give a chronic gambler more money, what do you really think he’s going to do with it?

Procrastination And Human Relationships - Part 3

Tip # 67 And with your siblings…

Don’t procrastinate either. Instead of putting off a project in which your older sister asked you for help, why not just tell her in a straightforward manner that you don’t have time to spare because of your school work and other commitments. Tell her now and not later. That way you avoid any friction.


Tip # 68 Aunt Mable means well, but…

Everyone has a doting aunt. They think the world of us and would give us anything in the world to make us happy – including their used make-up kits, clothes and handbags. The generational divide in fashion tastes though is too apparent to ignore.

Don’t postpone telling your aunt Mable that you don’t want her fire engine red lipstick, her roaring 20’s dinner gown and her leopard skin handbag. If you don’t tell her now, she’ll shower you with more undesirable gifts. And remember what we said earlier about clutter. The procrastinating monster rears its ugly head in between the dark recesses of your closet that’s looking more like a huge wasteland.


Tip #69 “Come with me shopping…”

Or “let’s go see a movie.” “Let’s bar hop tonight.” “Can you go with me to this concert?” “Join me for dinner at my step mother’s. I don’t want to be alone with her.”

Do you have friends who seem to want to include you in all – and we mean all – of their activities? Is it their constant need for company, or simply a case of not having a backbone? If you’re not capable of a firm but polite no, you’ll receive a lot more invitations you can handle.

Friendships have to be nurtured, but this is overkill. Shed off your procrastination habits and tell your friend politely you can’t go out with her anymore. She’ll survive. Or she can find someone else to drag along.

Procrastination And Human Relationships - Part 2

Tip # 65 Married to your work? Or just procrastinating in the dating game?

In Lives Without Balance, Steven Carter and Judith Sokol (Villard Books, 1992) discuss the phenomenon of confirmed bachelors, male and female.

Striking a balance between work and play is still considered the ideal, no matter how sacred you think the work ethic is: “By now if you are unattached, it’s probably overwhelmingly apparent that your lifestyle is not conducive to finding or forming a solid relationship. Whether you’re male or female, you are simply so involved in your work that you don’t have the necessary time or energy for dating…Yet you ache for a relationship.

Is procrastination barring you from a meaningful relationship?


Tip # 66 Father / mother issues?

One of the worst kinds of procrastination is when you carry resentment from childhood into adolescence and into adulthood. Here you are in your 40’s and that childhood resentment is still brewing inside you. All these years you’ve allowed it to grow into a cancer because you won’t deal with it.

Don’t let your procrastination erode any love that’s left. If you’re angry about something, speak up. If they explained their side, perhaps that resentment may just whittle away, and you’ll only berate for yourself for making a mountain out of a molehill. You can’t continue blaming your parents for your misfortunes.

Procrastination And Human Relationships - Part 1

Tip # 63 Okay, so you’re not impulsive but…

“I want to think things more. I don’t want to hurt him.” How many times have we heard that before? Men and women say they don’t want to do anything – especially end a relationship – impulsively.

The problem is, you’re the problem. Admit it. The relationship’s been going downhill for the last 12 months. You’ve craved for freedom frequently, but you still can’t get to tell your mate that love’s gone out the window.

Stop pretending that you need to think things through. No matter how you analyze it, it all boils down to the same thing: time to move on. Here are examples of what your procrastination causes:

• You deprive yourself of the mental freedom you need to concentrate on other aspects of your life,
• You deprive yourself of the opportunity to meet other people who share your interests and with whom you can have a meaningful relationship,
• You deprive your mate of the truth about how you feel
• You deprive your mate of the opportunity to meeting other people,
• You deprive your mate and yourself of the chance to find happiness again.

Just muster up the courage and say it. Time heals all wounds.


Tip # 64 It’s not what you say, it’s HOW you say it

No one says ending a relationship is easy. There have been documented accounts of people turning suicidal after a break-up, separation or divorce. They fall into a depression, and a few are unable to come out of it whole and able to trust again.

But if you procrastinate because you’re worried about the aftermath, you’ll only be doing the other person a disservice. Talk to your mate when you have full rein of your emotions.

Yes, honesty is still the best policy but this is where you’ll have to optimize on your diplomat’s skills. Choose your words, and dwell on the positive. Convince her that both of you would be better off with somebody else. Offer to remain friends so the transition is not emotionally devastating.

Stop Procrastination At The Work Place - Part 10

Tip # 60 If you are interrupted often on the job, Smith says, “Remain standing.”

People like to mill in and out of private offices just to make small talk. They’re the classic procrastinators at work. If they enter your office uninvited and appear to be engaging you in idle chatter, here is Jane Smith’s tip (Successful Work Habits, Hodder & Stoughton, 2002): stand up and remain standing. And don’t ask your unwanted visitor to sit down!


Tip # 61 Upgrade skills and expand knowledge base

A corporation does not need stale ideas from stale employees. Invest the time in upgrading your skills and expanding your knowledge base.

Learn a new language, add to your repertory of software, and take life-enhancing courses offered by your local college or university.

Don’t procrastinate, because you’ll never know when your company will create a position requiring a foreign language.


Tip # 62 Don’t procrastinate in ensuring a smooth transition for your successor

Your successor deserves a smooth transition. Schedule your departure intelligently. Tie up loose ends so that you can hand over your files and pending matters to whoever is taking over your job.

Help her succeed by not procrastinating. Type out an information sheet resembling a Frequently Asked Question list and give it to her.

This way, when the actual transitioning takes place, you don’t waste time addressing routine questions, leaving you more time to show her the key aspects of your functions.

Stop Procrastination At The Work Place - Part 9

Tip # 58 Watch out, if you’re networking to the hilt, this could just be your way of dodging your responsibilities!

Your secretary looks up, surprised, as you bolt out the door. “Where are you off too?” “To my networking club”, you say.

“But that’s where you were all afternoon yesterday!” she persists.
“I belong to another networking club. It’s called diversifying your contacts, my dear. Got to expand those contacts, otherwise, the company can’t sell what’s left in our inventory.”

Go ahead and network, if you must. But if the excess inventory runs out of control, don’t go crying to your networking buddies. They’re not buying any of that excess inventory.


Tip # 59 And if you’re no longer happy on the job…

Don’t procrastinate about leaving and seeking better opportunities elsewhere, if you’re no longer happy on the job. If you and upper management no longer see eye-to-eye on your role in the whole scheme of things, then cut your losses (emotional losses included) and hand in your resignation.

If your salary is your sole means of support, then time your departure in such a way that you have another job waiting for you. Don’t let a regular paycheck or stock options or sheer convenience feed your procrastinating habits.

Stop Procrastination At The Work Place - Part 8

Tip # 56 “Hey, did you hear about Felicity and her husband? Thirty years of marriage and now this…”

The latest scoop is always the juiciest. In a large company of 5,000 employees, for instance, if you were to tally the number of lovers’ quarrels, miscarriages, divorces, children on drugs, children who dropped out of school, cosmetic procedures done, who’s wearing the latest hi-tech heart pacer and who got terminated, you’d probably come up with an astonishing number.

But there’s no need to take pen and paper to tally up the figures because this is where word of mouth works best. The rumor mill has never been riper and…juicier.

If you try to camouflage your procrastination by pretending to be genuinely concerned about the gruesome details of a divorce or mastectomy, you’re only cheating yourself. Basking in the misery of others is counter productive to professional achievement.


Tip # 57 To echo the martyr idea mentioned earlier…

Mentoring is one of the more valuable contributions you can make to a company. Its positive effects must never be underestimated. Many a successful human being had a mentor or several mentors at different stages of his life.

But anything carried out to excess has a negative effect. If you think you have a sacred duty to mentor your subordinate because you want to develop his potential for a managerial role, then do so. Just don’t do it excessively, or else someone above you will begin to think, “Those who can’t, teach.” Apply the brakes on your predilection for over-mentoring.

Stop Procrastination At The Work Place - Part 7

Tip # 53 Hurry, put the punch clock right by the water fountain!

If water fountains could record conversations between office workers, the tape and timer would probably run out. It’s like a tower transmitter that emits data at many kilobytes per second.

If you were to “clock” workers who spend too much time by the water fountain, it becomes apparent who the true procrastinators are. They should be at their desks dealing with the paper work or satisfying irate customers, but no, they avoid angry customers by quenching their thirst and turning it into some kind of art form.


Tip # 54 Office cafeteria: Saturday Night Live!

There are days it doesn’t look like an office cafeteria anymore; it has the air of a cruising bar – and not just on Fridays! Meeting who’s who at the cafeteria is a daily sacred ritual so woe to the person who stands in the way of the socialization process.

“You need to reach out, interact with human beings, otherwise the company turns into an impersonal arena,” they say defiantly.

Okay, folks. Socialize all you want, while that webcam conference is going on. It’s only the president talking about freezing salaries and downsizing the work force. Lingering in the cafeteria to make small talk is a glaring form of procrastinating. At least you got to agree to this one.


Tip # 55 Birthday bashes take 1-2 hours of planning and celebrating. Do you know how many hours it takes to plan the company Christmas party?

If you pay close attention, some companies actually form committees for purposes of planning the annual Christmas employee party. Five to six members assigned to food and beverage, another three for the live band and perhaps one to four people to think of games and kiosks.

And God forbid, let’s not forget the gift exchange. The Christmas party is a whole movie production of sorts. And obviously an excellent reason to escape the drudgery of memos and customer calls and filling out return merchandise account forms. Procrastination at its most festive!

Stop Procrastination At The Work Place - Part 6

Tip # 49 Arrgh, here comes the collection bag again

Do you know how much time is wasted when people go around collecting money for things like birthdays and retirements? The actual celebration takes just as long. If you’re the manager of a department, tone down on the merry-making. Birthdays are meant to be intimate celebrations, not a means to procrastinate. Sign memos instead of hordes of birthday cards!


Tip # 50 Heap praise on a job well done

Employees thrive on positive feedback. A sincere compliment for a job well done is a strong motivator for employees to do even better next time. Be fair in granting salary increases. Promote an employee if he or she deserves it. Happy employees are good for the company’s profit and loss statement.


Tip # 51 And Cy Charney says…

Cy Charney wrote “The Instant manager” (American Management Association – AMACON, 2004) and his thesis was on how to become an effective manager. One of his recommendations was to respect the time of your team members, just as they do yours.

Mr. Charney said, “Don’t ask them to do things that others should be doing, unless it is an emergency. Don’t continuously interrupt them unless absolutely necessary. Let them complete each task.”


Tip # 52 If you’re stuck, ask

Instead of wasting time wracking your brain, be humble and approach a colleague even if she’s a subordinate. Say, “I’m running out of ideas, can you brainstorm with me?” or “I can’t solve this problem. Maybe you see something in it that I don’t?”

Procrastinating in asking for help won’t solve anything, but swallowing our pride can yield tremendous benefits. It makes your colleague feel good, and she can offer a fresh perspective on the problem.

Stop Procrastination At The Work Place - Part 5

Tip # 46 “You’ve got 28 voice mails” and “you have 55 unread messages”

How much time would it take to go through all those messages? Voice mails and e-mails take you away from your main functions. Deal with the important ones and decide which ones can be dealt with this afternoon, tomorrow, and next week. And do file them away in a sub-folder so they don’t take up visual space on your screen.

Some workers tend to answer each and every message they receive, since it’s a great escape from the real task at hand. For non-urgent matters, devote 4:30 pm to 5:00 pm (when things begin to wind down) for answering non-urgent messages.


Tip # 47 Are you a morning person?

Fitness trainers ask people this question a lot because exercising at a specific time of the day is an effective method for maintaining discipline. The same applies to the office. If you’re a morning person, tackle your difficult responsibilities when you’re most energetic and productive before lunch.

Leave the less essential ones for another time. And then there are some people who like to work through their lunch hours because that’s when they reach peak energy levels; that way they leave the office early to have that extra hour to spend with family.


Tip # 48 Do what you hate most first

There are certain aspects of our job we don’t like. But you need not let these unpleasant tasks derail you. If you make it a daily habit to tackle them first, they become easier for you to do and won’t be as unpleasant. You’ve saved yourself precious minutes by not procrastinating.

Stop Procrastination At The Work Place - Part 4

Tip # 43 Workplace safety

Government authorities are breathing down the necks of companies to implement work safety facilities and procedures. Companies must comply with regulations and must ensure the physical well-being of employees.

If you notice that there are potential causes of accidents in say, the parking lot (e.g. broken bottles, ice, large potholes, sluggish security gates and card readers) report it immediately to the appropriate department. Don’t wait for an accident to happen.


Tip # 44 Get to the bottom of things

If your boss requests that you investigate an incident, do a thorough job, not a half-baked one. Use your detective skills so that you submit a full report giving all the facts and circumstances of the incident. By doing a thorough job the first time, you avoid having to do a re-investigation because there were questions from the boss you couldn’t answer.


Tip # 45 Ah, those back-to-back meetings

There must be something about board rooms and conference rooms that make people gravitate towards them. Is it the mahogany wood, the jelly croissants that are served every morning, the new projector, the cushy leather chairs? Meetings take up a lot of time.

Not that they’re useless, but there are far too many meetings being held. If you take the number of man hours per day that are taken up by meetings, multiply that number by 5 days and then multiply that again by 50 (excluding Christmas and New Year).

Compare that figure to the company’s annual generated revenues. If we took half of those man hours and made managers stay at their desks doing their work, imagine how much more revenues can be earned.

Don’t doubt it - meetings are a great time to daydream and give in to our distractions. It’s a “perfectly legitimate” excuse not to review last month’s accounting expenses that are due soon.