Tip # 53 Hurry, put the punch clock right by the water fountain!
If water fountains could record conversations between office workers, the tape and timer would probably run out. It’s like a tower transmitter that emits data at many kilobytes per second.
If you were to “clock” workers who spend too much time by the water fountain, it becomes apparent who the true procrastinators are. They should be at their desks dealing with the paper work or satisfying irate customers, but no, they avoid angry customers by quenching their thirst and turning it into some kind of art form.
Tip # 54 Office cafeteria: Saturday Night Live!
There are days it doesn’t look like an office cafeteria anymore; it has the air of a cruising bar – and not just on Fridays! Meeting who’s who at the cafeteria is a daily sacred ritual so woe to the person who stands in the way of the socialization process.
“You need to reach out, interact with human beings, otherwise the company turns into an impersonal arena,” they say defiantly.
Okay, folks. Socialize all you want, while that webcam conference is going on. It’s only the president talking about freezing salaries and downsizing the work force. Lingering in the cafeteria to make small talk is a glaring form of procrastinating. At least you got to agree to this one.
Tip # 55 Birthday bashes take 1-2 hours of planning and celebrating. Do you know how many hours it takes to plan the company Christmas party?
If you pay close attention, some companies actually form committees for purposes of planning the annual Christmas employee party. Five to six members assigned to food and beverage, another three for the live band and perhaps one to four people to think of games and kiosks.
And God forbid, let’s not forget the gift exchange. The Christmas party is a whole movie production of sorts. And obviously an excellent reason to escape the drudgery of memos and customer calls and filling out return merchandise account forms. Procrastination at its most festive!
